What's wrong?

This week's CCGB entry.

Hats off.

Add caption

CCGB caption contest (theme RUGBY)

Terry Lander rewrites.

@lyvit (Terry Lander) suggested an alternative caption, which I've placed on the cartoon. I think it works much better. Thanks Terry.

Goodbye NHS, hello crap caption...

Oh, look at me getting all political. Not really. I think the punchline doesn't really work. I'm crap at lines. Open to suggestions for improvement. Leave a comment if you can think of a better caption (along the same lines, but er...better!)

I can only apologise once again for the terrible caption I set for the CCGB contest. I thought it was really broad. It seems most people thought it was very difficult. Record low turnout for the contest? Amazingly Ivortoons won the contest, and then promptly set another very difficult theme, but we're not allowed to talk about that until after voting has closed next Monday.

Olympic Legacy Innit...

This weeks caption contest entry.

Flatulence gag number 3,429

This week's entry in the CCGB caption contest.

Trousers....

Wookie Whole.

This is the first time I've ever drawn a Wookie. To think, he started as a nudist. Kind of gone the very opposite of that, but I think it works. I think that's the best way to approach drawing gags. Allow it to evolve. The original drawing was very different. I even drew a weird sea creature in it at one point:

Drawn over the last few days. Little bit at a time, as the weather has been so hot. Did not relish sitting over my Cintiq for hours on end. That's it. I'm done for the drawing for a little while. I'm going to sunbathe in a Wookie costume.......

Prehistoric Times Cartoon.

For the CCGB caption contest thingy.

Don't Panic.

This is my entry for this weeks cartoon contest. It's the forth cartoon I drew. The others were terrible. Really awful. So to me, this one looks reasonably good. I hope the others agree.


*it is NOT possible to draw a Nun in a wet suit, and still make it look like a Nun, BTW!

Going for Gold.

This week's entry in the CCGB cartoon contest. The theme is GOLD. I've drawn some Gold medals. I'm hoping the crackerjack pencils are Gold this week. GOLD.

GOLD!

Honestly.

Honestly, so many goldfish! This is my entry in the CCGB public forum caption contest, set by Mr Paul Mahoney, who won last week.

A New Cartoon.

Sense Of Humour Bypass. Not available on the NHS.

RAIN

This weeks caption contest entry, a silent gag set by last week's winner, Mr Tim Cordell. Normally I have at least the bones of an idea by mid week, but I have been so busy doing other things, that I didn't get a chance to draw anything until just now. It's a bit sketchy, but I think it sort of works. It's certainly silent (no words at all, understandable in any language).


Now to build the patio furniture we bought yesterday, before it starts raining again!

Rambler of the Day, today.

Sometimes people ask me if I can draw a portrait of their children/dog/mini-bar spa complex. The answer is always no. They look disappointed, and get a little huffy, because they "thought I was an artist". I am not an artist. Not in the sense of the word that most people think of artists. I mean, would you ask that bloke that paints elephants to do a portrait of your mother in law? Of course not. I draw silly pictures of people that don't exist. If you have an imaginary friend or relative, I might consider drawing them.

                                                                                                        

Accidental Cartoon.

Last week's cartoon about the circuit board/crisp eating man in a jumper made no sense whatsoever. I can apologies for that now. What was I thinking? Here's a different cartoon instead. Hope you like it. As always, comments/death threats appreciated.

This is wrong.

In control, no idea what's going on...

Seems to be the new way. Whatever you have responsibility for, when shit hits the fan just deny knowing anything about it. This is guarantee to get you off the hook every time. Doesn't matter if you are head of a bank, government department, or supreme leader of murdering bastards.

Bank On This...

We all bank with the shame bank.

Terrible times for everyone (unless you're a banker/politician/millionaire) but great times for cartoonists, comedians (er...with a few exceptions maybe!) and satirists. It's like Margaret Thatcher was never killed by that elephant.

Just get on with it.

Jimmy Carr 'toon!

Quick, hide...

Shoe Shop

Must practice drawing egg whisks...

This cartoon has been entered in this week's cartoonist contest. The cartoon below was rejected (by me) as being too silly/no one would get it/just stupid/far too good for the contest. 

Must practice drawing egg whisks.

A great big book.

This weeks entry in the cartoon 'caption' contest. A theme, set by last weeks winner Shaunmadrid. Or is it Shaun Madrid? I'm not sure. What I am sure of is that he's set a contest which hopefully I'm not the only one to cause offence with. Fingers crossed this doesn't get pulled. Ahem.

British Summer.

Knowing you're not wanted.

Smart Phone.

It's a Miracle

Mother Watching Children

Mother watching Children

Second in my Cameron's Britain series. The first one was yesterday's post, but I hadn't thought of doing a series then. Looks like it's turning into one.

Employment Up!

News just in: Unemployment in the UK has fallen, and Employment in the UK increases. So that's all right then. Everything's fine. Just in time for the Olympics.

Temp.

Bad Choice.

Latest Smart Phone

Oh crikey! I won last weeks contest with the lifeboat cartoon! Which was nice. Really nice. So I got to set the contest for this week. The theme is PHONE. Here's this weeks entry.

A Grand Edwardian Cartoon.

As is usual at this time of week, I have entered that cartoon caption contest thingy over at the CCGB public forums. I'm a little concerned that it'll be a low turn out this week, as it's also the weekend of the Shrewsbury Cartoon Festival. Something which I would have liked to have attended myself, but circumstances once again prevent me (was moving house last year).


I'm still struggling with colour matching my main monitor and the Cintiq monitor, but this one hasn't turned out too badly (colour match wise). Does it look a little on the green side to you? I have no idea. Now if everyone would kindly colour match their monitors and get back to me.


I need to know.


UPDATE: This cartoon won first place in the contest! A very big thank you to all those who voted for it and congratulations to fellow podium winners, Tim Cordell and Omri

Wait until you've got the job...

Nazis are a waste of time.

I drew this cartoon for the CCGB caption contest, but I didn't enter it. I chose this one instead: 


Probably a mistake. I've been drawing far too many Nazi jokes of late. I'm starting to think there's no demand for them.


Old ladies with vacuum cleaners in seedy hotels is far more popular, I am telling myself. 

Interview Cartoon.

Chocolate Biscuit.

Yellow Car

FFS

And now an important message from the Prime Minister...

Fuel Panic

Oh! Two cartoons in one day? Yes. But the reason I posted this was because it has a very short shelf life (I hope). I'm not going to label this as an hilarious cartoon about policemen making people put petrol back where they got it from because it's now illegal to panic buy anything, even if the Government tell you to.


Firstly, it isn't really hilarious. And it's a little stale. Might have had more impact yesterday, when the crisis was at it's height, but unfortunately I was busy using my petrol to get to work at the time. I think today, people are just sitting at home watching their Biker Grove DVD box sets with full tanks of petrol in both their cars sitting outside, feel a little bored, but ever so slightly smut. And that's what it's all about. Feeling smug and having something that other people haven't got.


I have a giant box of cream eggs downstairs, and you probably don't. Beat that, panic buying public!

Dentist Cartoon.