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This week's entry in the CCGB cartoon contest. The theme is GOLD. I've drawn some Gold medals. I'm hoping the crackerjack pencils are Gold this week. GOLD. GOLD!

Honestly, so many goldfish! This is my entry in the CCGB public forum caption contest, set by Mr Paul Mahoney, who won last week.

Sense Of Humour Bypass. Not available on the NHS.

This weeks caption contest entry, a silent gag set by last week's winner, Mr Tim Cordell. Normally I have at least the bones of an idea by mid week, but I have been so busy doing other things, that I didn't get a chance to draw anything until just now. It's a bit sketchy, but I think it sort of works. It's certainly silent (no words at all, understandable in any language). Now to build the patio furniture we bought yesterday, before it starts raining again!

Sometimes people ask me if I can draw a portrait of their children/dog/mini-bar spa complex. The answer is always no. They look disappointed, and get a little huffy, because they "thought I was an artist". I am not an artist. Not in the sense of the word that most people think of artists. I mean, would you ask that bloke that paints elephants to do a portrait of your mother in law? Of course not. I draw silly pictures of people that don't exist. If you have an imaginary friend or relative, I might consider drawing them.                                                                                                         

Last week's cartoon about the circuit board/crisp eating man in a jumper made no sense whatsoever. I can apologies for that now. What was I thinking? Here's a different cartoon instead. Hope you like it. As always, comments/death threats  appreciated.

Seems to be the new way. Whatever you have responsibility for, when shit hits the fan just deny knowing anything about it. This is guarantee to get you off the hook every time. Doesn't matter if you are head of a bank, government department, or supreme leader of murdering bastards.

Terrible times for everyone (unless you're a banker/politician/millionaire) but great times for cartoonists, comedians (er...with a few exceptions maybe!) and satirists. It's like Margaret Thatcher was never killed by that elephant.